Don't Get Stuck in Someone Else's Mud

Years ago, I dashed in to see my mentor, flustered by the challenges I was facing with a coworker. In great detail, I described the situation, sharing some of the ugly things that had been said to me. When I was finished, I waited. I was awaiting what amounted to her consolation and maybe even her sympathy. Yet to my surprise, my mentor’s response was the exact opposite.  She said in her quiet, yet direct voice, “Why did you get stuck in someone else’s mud?”

I looked at her, speechless, digesting her response and pondering her question – both were so far from what I wanted to hear.  I took a deep breath to give over my disappointment to her response and slowly answered, “I don’t know what you mean. This person said these things to me… how dare they…why would they?”

Then, somewhere, in my defensive banter, my mentor waved her hands and interjected, “Why did you get stuck in their mud?” 

“We are all humans,” she said. “We all have different emotions, feelings, experiences, uncertainties and purposes.  So the question becomes, why did you respond the way you did? Why are you getting stuck in the mud, when you can be doing what you were called to do? Why are you allowing someone else’s negative comments to influence you? Have you lost your way?”

The message was loud and clear. It was so obvious. In life, we will have many ups and downs. We will face many challenges, yet if we remain true to what we believe in and find joy in all things, we can avoid “getting stuck in someone else’s mud.”  

The more we choose to trust in our heartfelt dreams, the easier it is to jump clear over the mud and spend more time on the beautiful grassy knolls of our life’s journey.

Striving for Excellence

Striving for excellence gives us pride in what we do.  Challenging yourself and others to go beyond is contagious!

So, how do we improve? Encouragement helps. Ideas that lead to solutions also help.  

But it’s really about a willingness to come back with ideas again and again despite hearing ‘no.‘ Hearing ‘no’ builds our dignity and builds who we are. If you really believe in growing you must be willing to hear the no’s and still move forward. When you hear no, do not give up. Listen to the comments and then see if there is a need to negotiate—with yourself and with others, in every situation.  Keep coming back to the table with more solutions and ideas to help move the concept forward.

‘No’ lives inside of us all. My friend C., is recently divorced. She knew she would have to step into a different role with her sons – one of strength. She would have to mute the no voice inside of her by giving herself a challenge. She knew her boys loved to hike and so, earlier in the year, she planned a challenging summer in Yosemite hiking one of those trails that reach some 8,000 feet above sea level.  For C., this was daunting yet at the same time, exhilarating. She always preferred to stay home while her family hiked. She knew this was going to be very different for her. She was asking herself to think differently because her circumstances had changed.

Every day, she went to the gym after she dropped her boys at school.  She planned some day and weekend hikes on her own to keep growing. Little did they know that she was making such physical preparations. Even with a full time job, C. creatively plotted new ways to negotiate her schedule in order to accommodate this new commitment.

When it came time for the trek, C. hiked right along with her boys. There was no stopping her! She strived for and achieved excellence – and best of all, she felt such strong self-pride and delivered not only the gift of her presence, but also gave her boys a strong message about reaching goals despite obstacles.  You can change who you are. You can always do more. You can change how you think. You can think harder.  Always remember to believe in your dreams and keep thinking big, strive for excellence and pursue those dreams.

Striving for excellence means hearing ‘no’ and negotiating around it every single time.  It is neither self-rewarding nor self-fulfilling. It always benefits others.

How To Grow Your Paycheck

What keeps me in my job? Why am I doing what I do? Am I only working for a paycheck? When will I get a raise?

There is so much more to your career than growing your paycheck.

Being “appreciated” is not synonymous with being paid more.  

Satisfaction is internal.  Grow yourself so you are of greater value.

How do I know this? If the work you do defines who you are, then I say, "You are not a good leader."  You are not a good leader because you are not a whole person.

Every day you should be shaping your destiny by growing your skill set.  

Sure, there are “fun” workplaces. The aesthetics might make employees feel happy to be there -- but do these aesthetics provide an environment for employees to grow? No.

Working should be about much more than the size of your paycheck.

Maintaining yourself and taking ownership of YOU, makes you of greater value to an organization and…YOU are the greatest beneficiary because you are growing.

What are you doing to grow your whole person?  

Believe

Brainstorm
Empower
Listen
Inspire
Embolden 
Voice 
Everything is possible if you believe from your heart. 

Has the Meaning of Trust Lost its Value in Today's Society?

I received quite a few comments from readers on my last blog post. One reader asked the following questions:

Has trust lost its value in today’s society?

If trust is lost, can it be regained?

In the political arena, polls are often cited to reflect high percentage numbers when it comes to the “non-trusting” of politicians. The media is then quick to cite high poll numbers for the “like-ability” of a candidate. In other words, society seems to be saying, “I may not trust you, but I still think you are good person.” Yet, how can you trust a political candidate’s integrity if you can’t trust or value their decision-making?

Trust, Integrity and Truth are the foundation for a successful company culture.  Yet, this foundation can be broken down quickly by one person’s lack of honesty – or lack of trusted truth. There is a major negative human and economic impact for an individual, a company or organization when trust is lost. 

We see how lack of trust bleeds into various industry sectors. In the restaurant sector, for example, business at Chipotle continues to be seriously affected by the 2015 outbreak of foodborne illness, despite the establishment of strict food safety measures. In the car industry, Takata airbags is the focus of the largest auto recall in history. More than a dozen different automakers have been forced to recall cars with its products installed. 69 million Takata airbags have been recalled or will be recalled by 2019 in the United States alone.

The root cause of these “trust breakdowns” is very simple: a lack of truth; a lack of confidence to speak the truth—even when it may conflict with the direction of management. While many rely on the convenience of modern technology to detect possible failures in a system, these cases show the root cause is often human error. This is why it is so important for a business or organization to build their team on a trusted foundation with the same mission to challenge one another and create an environment that is comfortable for sharing diverse ideas while others willingly listen. 

Trust is not something a machine creates. Human integrity and ingenuity create a machine you can trust. Collaborating on new ideas and innovations fosters the future of a company or business.

A Team Built on Trust

Many businesses, relationships, companies, treaties and negotiations upon which much of the foundation of our society are built, were based upon the trust of a person’s word, their name, their commitment—or, quite simply, a handshake: “I give you my word, trust me.”

Yet, what is the value of trust?

Today, many do not understand the “sacredness” of trust in a relationship or business. Building trust seems easy as long as you keep your commitment, yet once you lose that trust, you will never really regain it.

Trust is grown through a “common cause” belief system which we often call the mission statement of a group or company.

To build trust within your team, you must be willing to build relationships with each and every individual. A relationship that is built on trusted conversation includes diverse thoughts and ideas.  Honest conversation about issues and topics may touch on the weakness of a person, yet those weaknesses can always be turned into strengths.

You need to hold people accountable for their actions—and be clear about your expectations of their commitments to various action items and projects.

Trust speaks the truth, always. One has to be willing to speak the truth and listen to the other person’s experience or opinion.

_________________

TRUST (n.)

1. reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.

2. confident expectation of something; hope.

3. confidence in the certainty of future payment for property or goods received; credit to sell merchandise on trust.

4. a person on whom or thing on which one relies: God is my trust.

5. the condition of one to whom something has been entrusted.

6. the obligation or responsibility imposed on a person in whom confidence or authority is placed: a position of trust.

7. charge, custody, or care: to leave valuables in someone's trust.

___________________

Why Should I Write a Mission Statement?

When I ask my clients for a mission statement, most of the time they’ll give me the company’s mission, but they rarely have one of their own.  Why?

Whether a company owner, department leader or individual, to write a mission statement is to find your unique purpose.

A mission statement is not only useful in business; it can be equally as beneficial to your personal life. As you grow and evolve, so should your mission statement.

What goes into a mission statement and what is its purpose?

You could begin with the basics such as noting your goals and objectives; however, I like to challenge my clients to really think about why they are doing what they do. What do you believe in? Are you doing something you have believed in since you were young? Would it be the job, career, life path that you have chosen to pursue today?

When asked, “Why do you do what you do?” the answers often range from an interest that developed in school to “It was easy for me,” to “I wanted to make money.”

We can all ‘work to pay the bills,’ and reach a level of ‘success’ —yet how many of us pursue our beliefs or dreams from early on? Most of us have to work, but life is not simply about doing a task. A mission statement helps to make work more enjoyable.

Success is an interesting term—and it’s often associated with financial gain. Yet, the only thing I know that truly makes money is the mint. What is the depth of happiness from money if you will always be chasing it? When you follow your heartfelt dreams, money will follow and happiness will be part of your daily life both professionally and personally.

As you go through the process of writing down thoughts, start you’re your interests and involvements, believe and begin to see the mission statement form.

A mission statement prevents you from ‘getting stuck.’ It creates a focus from which stems self-confidence. A mission statement should be a living, breathing document that you visit from time-to-time, so that your beliefs are always in line with your evolving aspirations and dreams. Ultimately, a mission statement will give you an understanding of your purpose.